Blessed Christmas!

The title of today's post is in memory of my mom and all the past Christmas's with my family.  If you have read my previous posts you will remember my mother used the phrase "Blessed (whatever holiday)".  As I sit here in the quiet of the house (not a creature is stirring not even a mouse) with only the light of the Christmas tree peace fills my heart.  Today is the greatest love story of all.  I end the year of my journey knowing God's love and hope and thank Him for always being with me.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

Tis the Season

I have had some really high days and some extremely low days these last few weeks.

The trip to Florida was definitely a high for me.  We had a relaxing and peaceful trip.  It was not crowded and the weather was beautiful.  I could listen to the ocean for hours on end.  More than anything I took the time to enjoy God's lovely handiwork and thank Him for the opportunity to absorb His presence.

Thanksgiving was also a high for me.  I was surrounded by my immediate family and my nieces and nephew.  Since my sister passed away in 2000 I get limited time to see her kids.  But we always make sure we get together at Thanksgiving.  I am thankful to still be a part of their lives.  My brother-in-law also came for dessert.  As you all know family is the most important thing to me.

With that being said I realize I am now "back in the circuit" as Grandma.  We brought the girls home with us from Thanksgiving and they spent two nights with us.  I loved every minute.  Then this last weekend we kept the boys overnight so Karlene and Adam could have a date night.  It was Emerson's first overnight visit with Mimi and Papa.  Once again I loved every minute.

On the low side my aunt passed away while we were in Florida.  She was my mom's twin sister and the last living aunt on my mom's side.  We were able to attend the memorial service on our way back to KC.  I have very fond memories of Aunt Dorothy and was glad to be able to listen to my cousin, Bro, speak about her at the service.   Another chapter in my life book closed.

I also learned that a teacher in the district where I worked lost her short battle with lung cancer this last  week.  She received treatments at the same cancer center I go to so it has been hard to understand why God felt her journey here on earth was done.  I know I am not to question and I know God has a plan but my heart has been heavy.   Just FYI...cancer sucks!

Now I move to "tis the season".  I have had some mixed emotions about the upcoming holiday.  I am trying very hard to remember the reason for the season and not get so commercially involved with it this year.  It has been a long year and I want to celebrate Jesus's birth because without Him my journey would not make sense.

Please take time to enjoy this season.  Seriously you never know what lies ahead so take time to find peace in this holiday season.

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3

Forecast is for clear skies!

Finally....results!  Today I met with the oncologist before I had blood work.  I did not realize he had ordered a tumor marker test on my last blood work.  I am happy to report that it was within normal range!  I will start taking the estrogen hormone blocker pill and will take it every day for 5 years.  Tomorrow begins the rest of my life!  I did not even stay for blood work results today.  The infusion nurses persuaded me I needed to "get a life" and not worry about blood work numbers.  This was very difficult for me but I know in my heart I need to let go and let God.  Today is the start of this new journey.

I write this blog tonight with a heavy heart.  Today I visited with a dear friend (the person I job shared with) who lost her husband yesterday from lung cancer.  His battle was very short.  As I have said before and told her no matter what way cancer takes us we win.  He won his battle and is at home with God.

For today I am writing I am cancer free.  We are leaving Thursday for our trip to Florida (even though it will be raining when we arrive) and I am so excited.  This will be my last post for awhile.  I do not see the Dr. until Jan.  I thank all of you who have followed me on this journey.  You are awesome friends and family members.  If you want check the blog occasionally as I may post some random thought!  In the meantime God bless all of you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Counts Going Up!

My white blood cell count continues to go up!  In fact it is higher than when I started chemo.  I am so excited to see the blood work get back into normal range.

Life has been good.  We went to Washington on Sunday to see Annie's piano/guitar recital.  It was so good to see Karmen's family and enjoy some time with them.  We spent the night at the Ameristar Hotel in St. Charles.  (If you are ever in the area this is a very nice property.)  Of course we are such big gamblers.  We started with $20 each and I walked away with $20.16 and Rick walked away with $20.21!  But we had fun just getting away.

Next week I meet with my oncologist on Tuesday.  I am sure I will begin the hormone blocker drug that I will have to take for 5 years.  After this meeting we will be heading to Florida on Thursday.  I am not anticipating any reason for a delay in this trip.

In the meantime I continue to feel good.  My hair is growing but not fast enough!  I now understand why men wear hats in the winter!

Enjoy the fall weather!

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect."
2 Samuel 22:33 

WBC Normal!

The day I have been waiting for has arrived.  My white blood cell count is NORMAL!  That means that my body is able to fight off infections and bacteria.  And it also means I can eat fresh fruit and salads.  Ahhhh....happy days again!

I am feeling terrific.  Rick and I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday babysitting our 2 year old and 5 month old grandsons.  What a great way for me to feel normal (even though I had to have help carrying Emerson).  I was exhausted Sunday evening but Rick was too so guess I can't use cancer or chemo as an excuse for being old:)  Ethan and Rick had colds and I escaped getting them.  Of course Ethan instructed me constantly to put on my gloves or not pick him up because "the doctor said so"!  The innocent words of a two year old.

I just booked our Florida vacation at our favorite spot.  Unfortunately we will be going a little later than planned because they were booked but I couldn't care less as long as I get to the ocean!  We have a balcony that looks right into the ocean so if it is cold or rainy I won't mind!  Life is good.

It looks like I am getting closer to the "results" part of my journey.  I am enjoying every day and thank God for it.  Even though there have been side effects from all of the things on my journey I feel so blessed.  It is the new me and I will enjoy the life God gave to me.

Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away; look, new things have come! — 2Corinthians 5:17

Giddy!

I am feeling giddy today!  No chemo!  No steroids!

I just got back from blood work.  My white blood cells are still low but we expected that today.  I also have a little cold so I know that plays a part in the results.  Hopefully next week they will begin to go up.

I have a busy rest of the week especially this weekend.  We are babysitting Ethan and Emerson from Friday thru Sunday.  Whew I am going to be super tired by Sunday evening but I am so glad Karlene and Adam will get away for a short time.  I have not been able to help them out much since Emerson was born so this gives me something to feel "normal".  Normalcy is what I am wanting to get back into my life.

Not much else to report.  Fatigue continues to be part of my life.  I just get tired easily but have learned how to balance it out in the day.

I hope everyone has a good rest of the week.  Cool fall weather is expected in KC this week.

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to enable them to fulfill the purpose for which they are called.

Rejoice!

Final cocktail day today!

I haven't posted for awhile because I was waiting for today.  I was going to wear my tutu for my happy dance but decided it made me look fat.  I went for the black slacks to match the tap shoes:)

The last 6 months have been quite a long journey but I am a breast cancer survivor!  God has been good to me.  But also I have had such a great support system of friends and family.  You all have made my journey with such love, caring thoughts, food, prayers, phone calls, gifts, hats, scarves, races, visits, dinners out, and the list goes on!  I am one truly blessed lady.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Today marks a new beginning in my life.  I have no idea what is in store for tomorrow.  I am going to enjoy today.  I still will have a long week this next week with side effects from today's treatment.  But it is so good to know next Tuesday is just blood work.  I have lots of grandkid time planned this week and next so that will help me get through all those crazy side effects.

I will continue to post on Tuesdays after I have blood work to get you updated.  The blog has been a great way for me to connect with so many people all over.  It has been a long 9 months but I survived and will continue to fight.  Remember breast cancer picked a fight with the wrong chick.

Love and hugs to all of you!

Psalm 118:24

²⁴ This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Number 11 Going Down!

Counts are good enough for an infusion:)  I am starting to get ready to put on my tap shoes for that big dance next week.

It looks like a busy week this week so I will sleep good at night!

Enjoy your week.  Weather is gorgeous in KC!

No More Physical Torture

I am sorry I didn't post anything yesterday.  I had a "don't feel so hot" day.  I thought I was getting a cold and was freaking out.  I have stayed healthy this long and DO NOT want to get sick now.  I was also very tired.  So I did my "lay on the couch" day.  I did walk and make a turkey breast dinner but that was about it!

I woke up this morning feeling much better.  I did my exercises and proceeded to go to my physical therapy appointment.  My range of motion is normal and all of the cording is gone!  (Thanks to Rick and the continued massage therapy he does to my arms.)  My arms are still increased in size but she is not worried about it because they are symmetrical.  Also I have put on 10 pounds with the chemo.  The chemo, steroids and increased weight haven't helped the situation.  As soon as my counts are back to normal range I will begin a yoga program with a center that specializes in breast cancer patients and lymphedema.  I also will begin to increase my walking and begin some weight bearing exercises with my arms.  She was so pleased at the progress I have made that she released me.  But I can call her anytime I think something is going on and my doctors will order a new script.  I still have a lot of precautions to take and will always need to wear my compression sleeves for many things but I must remember I still have my arms!  Finally some results!

Tomorrow marks number 11.  I haven't allowed myself to get excited yet.  Once I sit in that chair on number 12 and see that I will get that infusion...I will get exited! Since the mammogram in the middle of February until today I have just tried to "stay the course".  After next week I am not sure what the course will look like but I figure I can travel whatever way it takes me.

James 1:12 

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Number 10 almost done!

Sleeping beauty is wide awake today and doing her happy dance.  Some counts still low but good enough for an infusion.  God is always good to me.  October 15th is just around the corner.  I will be at the infusion center every week until Novermber 12th.  My oncologist is a stickler about watching blood counts so will go in every Tuesday for bloodwork.  I will have a bone scan on November 5th and then a followup visit with the Dr. on the 12th.  Hopefully all will be good because after that appointment a road trip is planned to our favorite place, Henderson Park Inn, in Destin, FL.  Both Rick and I are more than ready for the ocean and beach.  Even if it is cool I will enjoy it.  I even bought a new broad brimmed hat this weekend to help me stay out of the sun.

My cousin from Portland will be in on Thursday.  I am hoping I feel well because "Bro" turns 60 on Friday and I hope to be able to have dinner with him for this celebration.   I seem to have to "play things by ear" these days.  I hope all of you have a good week.

Need caffeine!

I have cut my consumption of caffeine down tremendously since beginning chemo.  But these last few days I need a jolt!

The doctor said the effects of the weekly Taxol would be cumulative.  I am here to say this is so true.  I have had more fatigue the last few days.  I mean like "Sleeping Beauty" sleep.  (Of course I wish it would help the beauty part!)  It began on Thursday and has just stayed with me.  I cannot let my body go horizontal because I will be out.  Anyone who knows me knows sleep is not part of my life.  I am good if I get 6 hours of sleep a night.  Let me tell you I am making up for lost time.  I figure if this continues I have only 3 more weeks of it!  Otherwise things are good.  I still have several side effects but I am getting use to them.

After sleeping most of the day on Thursday I told Rick I could sleep anywhere.  It has really bothered me that I have not been able to see Chris and Karmen's new restaurant.  So mid morning on Friday we loaded up the pillows and blankets and went to Washington.  I was so excited to see The Blue Duck and my family.  Of course they were super busy but I got to eat with Ceci and listen to her stories.  We then took Ceci home for Karmen and got Annie off of the bus.  They had a babysitter for the evening but I got to see them for awhile and get my granddaughter fix.  What a great day!  I slept like a champ Friday night and most of Saturday morning.  Then we were off to watch Ethan and Emerson while Karlene and Adam had a dinner engagement Saturday evening.  As Papa put Ethan to bed Mimi settled into the couch and began her catnapping for the evening!   Nothing helps my spirit more than my family and friends.

If you are in KC I hope you are able to enjoy this beautiful day God has given us.  I am so thankful for all of you and your continued support of me on this journey.  I am on the "short end" of this.  I thank God everyday for His guidance.

Psalm 136:26 Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

Number 9!

I am sitting here getting all of my premeds before the actual chemo infusion!  Three more to go!

We spent a lot of time with the oncologist today.  I had lots of questions for what will happen after this chemo finishes.  Hopefully I will be done with chemo on October 15th.  I will still have to do weekly blood draws for a month after it finishes.  Then when my counts are back to normal I will start the estrogen blocker pill which I will take daily.  As usual I am a different case! Since I had two different kinds of breast cancer he feels he needs to do some research as to what drug will be best for both of them.  He does not feel I need to remove my ovaries at this time since I am post-menopausal and will take an estrogen blocker. I need to keep the port in for at least 3 months after I finish chemo.  It is just an insurance protector.  He ordered a bone density test because the estrogen blocker drug will decrease the bones density.  One more part of this journey!

I have been feeling good.  I got to spend Friday and Saturday with my grandsons.  They always make me smile and pass the time.  Nothing planned the for the coming week but definitely will enjoy the fall like weather we are having.

Take a breath and rest at some point this week.  My confidence is in God.  I know He will guide me as this journey continues.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."
Jeremiah 17:7 

Number 8!

After today only 4 more infusions!  My counts are still all over the place but good enough for an infusion.  I can't wait until my counts become somewhat normal and I don't have to be so anxious about them.

It is a cloudy rainy day in KC.  What a way to spend the day!

If nothing is posted remember things are good!

New Beginnings

I hope I don't scare anyone with this pic but I am so excited to see hair growing.  Now it looks like a newborn baby's head but it is more hair than I have had in 6 months!  New beginnings are happening:)

The week has been the usual.  I have the infusion on Tuesday.  I am awake all night on Tuesday night and wired on Wednesday.  Wednesday evening I begin to slow down and Thursday is my fatigue day.  Friday I start to feel energized again and I am good until the following Tuesday.  As I have said in between time I have some weird things go on but I seem to figure out how to handle them with additional meds or rest.  Five more weeks of this and on to figuring out the next step with the pills I will take to stop my body from making the estrogen.  New beginnings will happen to my body once more.

The weather has finally cooled off in KC.  Friday was absolutely gorgeous so we played most of the day.  It ended with listening to some music at a local neighborhood festival and enjoying the company of good friends.  I don't know why but when the temps drop I begin to get in my cleaning mode.  I move slow so it is a good thing I am not entertaining.  I have several rooms in disarray.  I blame it on my chemo brain that I forget what I have started!  I am going through boxes of photos and papers that need to be streamlined and organized. This takes forever and I get bored so the basement is a mess.  I then move on to closets.  Once again I get started and decide to move on to something else.  But I have thrown away a lot and donations are piling up.  I need to get this all done because as soon as I am free to go Rick and I will not be home much!  Lots of trips planned and places to see.  New beginnings are around the corner.

This is the beginning of a new week.  Remember to enjoy it and praise God for all that you have.

Lamentations 3:25

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Prayers Work!

I was so stressed that my counts were going to be low but God answered my prayers!  I am getting #7!  Five more to go!

Yesterday I had a new side effect. I called the doctor but he felt it was normal.  That is the first time I really was super scared on this journey.  As you all know I have a very strong faith and God walked me through it!  I am good!

It is still very hot in KC today.  It looks gorgeous by the end of the week!  I can't wait to enjoy being outside.

I can't stress it enough times for you to take time for some sort of enjoyment for yourself every day!  I know "things" get in the way but everything will wait.

Enjoy!

Broken Record

There really isn't anything to report these days.  Which is a good thing:)  I seem to know what to expect from this chemo after 6 weeks.  I hope it stays the same for the next 6 weeks.  As I have said that doesn't mean I don't have some side effects from it but I seem to be able to work through them.  One of the side effects are mouth sores.  Although I think I may have contributed to them by eating the homegrown tomatoes!

I have been pretty much staying inside.  First of all it is very hot in KC and I cannot tolerate the heat.  Second there are a lot of "viruses" that seem to be going around right now.  I have stayed well this long and do not intend to get sick now.  I have not seen my "Petrie dishes" for a few days.  Emerson had his vaccines on Friday and I cannot be around him.  Ethan has been running a fever so that takes care of my visits to my boys.

Tomorrow I have physical torture.  I haven't seen the physical therapist for several weeks so hopefully she won't torture me too much.  I have faithfully done the exercises even on the days I really could have cared less.  Hope it has been enough.

Tuesday I have infusion number 7.  Please say prayers that my counts are up enough to have the treatment.  It is one day short of the week between treatments so I hope my body is ready.  I will see the nurse practitioner before I receive the chemo.  I am so fortunate that the team of doctors are always checking up on me.

I will post on Tuesday as soon as I have the results from my bloodwork.  Hopefully this heat will break and later this week we will have some cooler fall weather.

2 Samuel 22:33

 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

Have a good week!

Count Down Day!

I have only 6 more weekly Taxols left. I knew this was going to be a long trip and I tried to prepare myself mentally.  But it has not been like the trips we have taken in retirement the last two years!  This has felt like driving 18 hour days with no potty breaks.  Yet I am on the last leg of the journey.  I  hope to pick up speed and this will go fast.

With this being said my body is having a hard time to keep up my counts.  It is taking a chemo beating.  They were lower this week but just barely high enough for a treatment.  I did cut the pre-steroids in half before the infusion.  The infusion nurse said they do keep give the bloodwork a false positive reading.  So next week will only be 6 days between infusions and I will go back to taking the 4 steroids prior.  I will do anything to keep the treatments on schedule.

Also some side effects are happening that have never happened in the last 4 months so I know my body is just getting zapped left and right.  More of my good cells are being destroyed. I am good with this as long as it is attacking and eating up the cancer cells.

I don't have much planned this week.  Karmen and Chris are doing family and close friends trial dinners this weekend at their new restaurant.  Rick and Karlene are going down Saturday night but I just can't make the trip.  I hope to help Adam for a bit with the boys.  Otherwise since it is hot out I think I will begin some fall cleaning.

Take time to enjoy something for yourself everyday!

Fuzz!

Yippee I have a little white fuzz growing on my head!  At this rate I may have hair by Valentine's Day:)

It has been a busy last few days but so much fun.  I was able to visit with my cousin from Portland, OR which meant I had some adult conversation.  Thursday, Friday and Saturday was filled with grandkid conversation.  They are so much fun.  Needless to say I slept well last night.  This was a conversation I had with Ethan.  I always wear my mask and gloves when I am changing his or Emerson's diapers.  He proceeded to say,  "Mimi you have a mustache"!  He now thinks I have a mustache and wear a hat like Papa.  Shoot since I have no boobs, hair and burp constantly he may just start calling me Papa too!

Nothing really new to report.  There are still some little side effects with this chemo but I seem to be able to plow through them.  This week I will have my infusion on Wednesday instead of Tuesday.  With the holiday and the clinic going live with a new computer system Tuesday we decided Wednesday might be a little better.  The next week I will get back on my Tuesday schedule.

I hope all of you have a nice holiday tomorrow.  As I have been reading the Bible I decided this would be my verse for the week.  I will be half way through with the Taxol on Wednesday and feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

1. Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

   
   

Number 5...7 more to go!

I am sitting here waiting to start the infusion.  I can't wait to post half way done next week.

I had a good visit with my oncologist today.  As all of you know I had a zillion questions for him.  The biggest news is that since my neutrophils (I know words you don't understand and hopefully never will) are high I can eat some fresh fruit and veggies washed well.  Where oh where are those homegrown tomatoes??   The next good thing is we are decreasing the steroids to only 1 tablet 12 and 6 hours before my infusions.  Hopefully I will sleep better.  The echocardiogram came back normal.  They will need to continue to monitor this but so far the red devil didn't have an effect on it.  I have had some neuropathy starting in my left toes so we will need to monitor this and Dr. Davis said he still has some tricks up his sleeve if it gets worse.  I did ask how we monitor this after treatments are finished.  It basically becomes a blood work issue and symptoms.  They will establish a tumor marker from blood work and then proceed on if any additional scans are necessary.  

I have a busy week this week.  My cousin, Bro, from Portland, OR is stopping by this evening.  I am looking forward to his visit.  Tomorrow is a rest day.  Thursday we are meeting Karmen in Columbia and picking up the granddaughters to stay with us Thursday night and all day Friday.  On Friday Karlene will bring over the grandsons to play.  Whew I am sure I will sleep well on Friday night.  Then on Saturday evening we will babysit the grandsons so Adam and Karlene can have an enjoyable anniversary and night out.  I think I will take a nap while my infusion is going on so I can get in a little rest.

I may not post until Sunday.  Happy Labor Day weekend in advance!

God is so good to me.  I know He has a grand plan for me and thank Him everyday to staying by my side.

Here is pic of me at French Lick.  "Lord give me the strength to fight what I can and I will leave the rest up to You!"

Almost nine months!

I was thinking yesterday this journey has been as long as my pregnancies.  And the end result of those nine months was good so this will be too!

Nothing much has been happening this week.  I have had some different side effects but they come and go.  Overall I just keep plugging on.

I will see the oncologist Tuesday morning.  As usual I have several questions for him.  Hopefully it will be the usual good visit with him and I will proceed with #5.

It has been very hot in KC these last few days.  I have been hibernating and taking it easy.  I hope all of you in KC stay cool this week!

Drink lots of water and take it easy!  Have a good week!

One third down!

Just got lab results and I can have my infusion today!  Woohoo!  Counts are still low but staying steady and not decreasing which is good.  I just want to stay on track!  Praise be to God!

I will be here for another couple of hours.  Hopefully will get a nap before I am all done:)

Have a good rest of the week!

Status Quo

Things are just staying about the same.  I have had some side effects from this chemo but all in all they are tolerable.  My biggest frustration is that I tire easily.  I do well in the morning but start to slow down as the day progresses.  Oh wait maybe I am blaming that on chemo and it really is just my age :)  Wonder how long I can use chemo as an excuse?

Let me explain how tired I get.  Friday afternoon I spent time with my college friends.  Around 7 o'clock I began to wear out.  I came home laid down in bed to watch the Chiefs game.  I made it to half time and did not see or hear anything else until 11 pm.  I got up, put on the pajamas, brushed my teeth and proceeded to fall back asleep.  Last night I went to my friend's daughter's wedding.  I thoroughly enjoyed the evening (had my first alcohol in 5 months).  We were home a little after 9 and I went straight to bed.  Although Rick will say this is not much different then my routine prior to chemo.

Tomorrow Karlene and the boys are coming over.  Of course my day will fly by.  Then at 9 tomorrow night I begin my weekly regimen all over again.  Just say prayers for me that my counts are good enough for the infusion on Tuesday.

Nothing is planned for this week.  It is suppose to get warmer as the week progresses.  It is August but the cool weather has been nice.

This is my Bible verse for the week:  Psalm 27:1


The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?

Have a great week.  I will post on Tuesday to let you know if I can say " one third of the way done".

Single digits!

I got my infusion today which means I am down to single digits and a quater of a way through this chemo!  Nine more to go.

My counts were a little low today but they gave me the infusion anyway.  Not lower than they want but close!  We will see how this does for next week.  I will be on my cautious days for the week.  There is nothing I can do for the dang white blood cell count.  I just pray it stays where it is!

Today is Rick's birthday.  He has had an exciting day spending it in an infusion room.  We did go grab a bite to eat after chemo but really have no plans for the evening.  Saturday night was our celebration.

Nothing more to report.  I will get the house clean and laundry done in the next 24 hours before I crash.  Which means if you are not a sleeper during the night go ahead and call or text me.  I will be the energized bunny and probably cleaning a bathroom :)

Looks like the mild summer will continue this week.  Enjoy!

Race for the Cure pics

Here are a few pictures from the race!

                                                  Simply the Breast Coulter's Crew

                                          Jan and Stacy (team leaders) with the tearful blimp!

                                             Two of my many reasons to beat this disease!

Definitely Inspired

Who couldn't be inspired when one sees over 45 friends and family united to walk/run/donate in honor of them?  I am humbled by this experience.  The Race for the Cure was more than just a race to me. It was an inspiration for me to continue to fight and beat this dang disease because I have a lot of socializing and loving left to do!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  As you know my nature is not to receive gifts but to give.  I truly appreciate the gift of time and $$$ that you gave to me and the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  Hugs and kisses to all of you.

I have taken my afternoon nap and feel recharged.  Today and tomorrow seem to be my "good" days.  I have physical torture tomorrow.  I will be bombarding her with a lot of questions.  Hopefully she will have suggestions to alleviate the tightness around my chest.  I am anxious to do more exercising but she has wanted me to finish treatment before I do too much.  Of course I think I am ready until I walk for a mile and then I am ready for a nap!

I will end this next week with spending time with my dear college friends.  We always have an annual few days bonding time.  This year it has been on hold because of my treatment but I am determined to get some "girl" time in sometime over the weekend.  Also my friend's daughter is getting married Saturday evening.  Even if I have to be wheeled in I will be at that wedding.  And I have special permission from the oncologist to have a glass of wine!  What a treat!

I will post some pictures as soon as Rick gets them downloaded to the computer.  He had to go to "work" this afternoon and didn't have time.

As my shirt says,  "I am proud to be your inspiration".

Final decision!

About 5:30 last night the phone rang.  It was the radiation oncologist.  I had seen her once prior to my surgery and liked how much time she spent with me at that time.  I was surprised she was calling me and not having her nurse set up an appointment!  Seriously she was loosing out on a $200 visit!  She wanted to know all about how things were going.  We chatted for about 10 minutes when I finally said I really needed to hear what SHE had to say.  Her words were, "YOU DO NOT NEED RADIATION."  I immediately said a prayer of thanksgiving to God.  She said the margins were widely clean.  And if there is a recurrence in the breast area we still have the radiation in our back pocket.  You cannot radiate an area twice.  Final decision!  I did a happy dance after that phone call.

After being the energized bunny for the last 48 hours my battery is wearing down.  The steroids get me going on Monday evenings and last until about 10 on Wednesday evening.  I then began my downward spiral.  I slept well last night and am having a hard time getting moving today.  The side effects with this chemo seem to come and go.  There's the fatigue, some bone pain, metallic taste in my mouth and the blimp effect from the steroids.  Overall it is tolerable.  I am just learning how to deal with it and get through the next couple of months.  The biggest challenge is that the steroids play havoc with my arms and chest area.  They feel so heavy and full.  I wear my compression sleeves off and on which are a pain!  This too shall pass.

I probably won't post anything until after the race on Sunday.  If I can figure out how to post a pic on the blog I will post the team picture.

Have a good rest of the week.

Tuesdays posts

As uncreative as it may be my Tuesday posts will be count downs.  Today is ten more to go!

My counts were good today so infusion number 2 took place.  I ate lunch and just took a 20 minute power nap.  I am getting ready to run a few errands while on my steroid high.

Yesterday I had a follow up visit with my breast surgeon.  He said scar and everything looks good.  I complained about the numbness under my arms and around my side.  He hopes after chemo it will get better and nerve endings take a long time to improve.  As far as the tightness around my chest I will see if there is more I can do from the physical therapist to alleviate that feeling.  We talked about radiation.  He agreed with my oncologist that he did not think I needed it but did advise me to reconsult with the radiation oncologist I saw presurgery.  I have a call into her.  Please say prayers that she agrees with the other doctors!

I plan on doing lots of resting this week to be ready for the race on Sunday.  I will post if there is anything to report.  Otherwise think positive thoughts for me:)

Pollyanna is back!

Okay I had my pity party and now ready to fight.

I just got done walking .90 miles on the treadmill.  I know this isn't much but for me I felt like I was beginning training for a marathon:). Onward and upward.  Breast cancer just picked a fight with the wrong chick!

I just finished talking to Stacy.  She will be sending out an email later today to the team participants.  In it she will list your options of how to get your packet.  If you want your packet from me Rick will deliver it to you.  Stacy is picking up the packets Tuesday evening and will get the ones to me that I know we can deliver.  It will be absolutely insane that morning so we are trying to make it easy for everyone.

I must remember the Bible verse I posted at the beginning.

Phil 4:13
I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

Fatigue

I have been tired with this chemo.  I do a few things and seem to get worn out.  It hasn't been like the AC but I haven't had my full energy.  And the frustrating part is that I am hoping I will feel better tomorrow and Monday but I start it all over again Tuesday.  I don't seem to get as much recovery time.  Oh well it just means I will have lots to work on come mid October with loosing some weight and doing work around the house!

With this being said I have had a few "weepy" moments the last few days.  I started this whole process with my diagnosis the end of February.  After 5 months I have hit the brick wall.  I am tired.  My arms feel weird and always will feel that way.  My chest feels like I have a cord wrapped around it.  My port bugs the crap out of me.  I have to sleep flat on my back with my arms propped up.  I have to drink lots of water every day.  (Therefore you know what comes after that!)  I take pills constantly (which I had never taken more than an Ibuprofen before this).  I have to always worry about getting my arms infected...no sun, no burns, no bites, no open wounds.  My aunt passed away yesterday and I don't have the energy to even attend her funeral in St. Charles.

Whew...sorry I just had to say all of this.  I do not want sympathy.  Please do not feel sorry for me.  I am a survivor!  But there are some days that are difficult.  Just like it is in "normal" life.  I am positive and know I have God on my side but it is a journey of ups and downs.  I say all of this so you have a realistic idea of what happens in a survivor's journey.

Looks like we have 42 for the Race for the Cure Coulter's Crew.  I have been trying to get out my thank you notes but I am moving slow.  I would like to thank all of you for your contributions.  Some of you have contributed in my name so I am not able to personally thank you.  Just know I truly am touched by your giving to this foundation.

I hope you have had time to enjoy this weekend.  It is hard to believe it is August in Kansas City and the temps have not been in the 90's.

So far tolerable!

Taxol seems to be much easier for me right now.  It will be a cumulative effect also but number uno hasn't been bad.  I think by number 12 I will be glad I am done!  I am tired today but nothing like with the AC.  I do have some bone pain but heck who doesn't at my age:)  Bone pain and neuropathy are two of the main side effects from this chemo.  I am mixing the Glutamine and drinking it 3 times a day to help with this.  I have no idea of whether it is working but I am not going to test the waters and not drink it!

I really have no plans for this week.  I have enough around the house to keep me busy but it just depends on whether I want to use the excuse "I am having chemo" to avoid doing anything.

I sure hope this weather holds out for the race on the 11th.  It is warm and humid but nothing like it could be this time of year.  I think there are about 38 signed up for the race.  I don't know that the suite will hold everyone so it may be a drive through to pick up a bagel, water or juice and some fruit:)  Thanks again to everyone.

Nothing really to report right now.  As my granddaughter said I am beginning to look like a Chia pet!  Some of my hair is sprouting but not enough to go without my hat...too easy to burn right now.  I am loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes.  Oh well...more things to look forward to when this all is done.

 I need to remember what is written in the Bible in 1 Peter 3:3-4:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

One down and 11 to go!

But who is counting? :)

I went to have my infusion today with a little anxiety.  I shouldn't say "a little".  It was ridiculous.  My blood pressure was a little elevated (wonder why) and Rick said I was talking very fast.  I need to stop reading the internet.  I had read about allergic reactions to the Taxol and they sounded scary.  So after they took my blood work I saw the oncologist.  As I have said before I really like him.  He reassured me I would be okay.  He spent over a half hour with me reviewing all the path reports again and reassuring me that I would not need radiation.  I will still need to take the hormone therapy for five years.  He explained there is a new study out of Britain that indicated there may be some benefit on staying on this drug for 10 years.  He said by the time I finish my 5 years he is hoping for more clinical trial results to indicate it is worth an additional 5 years.  I also will have another echocardiogram done in the next few weeks.  The side effect of AC can cause heart damage and he wants to make sure all is okay. Once again he keeps a close eye on everything.  I still have the decision to make about removing my ovaries once this is all done.  I will cross that bridge after the first of the year.

I went in for my infusion a little more calm.  My favorite infusion nurse administered the Taxol.  I had lots of premeds which consisted of steroids, Benedryal and something for indigestion.  Then I had to wait 30 minutes before they actually started the Taxol.  They did a very slow drip just to make sure I wouldn't have a reaction.  I did just fine!  Praise be to God!  Trust me when I say I had been talking to God since 3 this morning I am not exaggerating.  I know He doesn't always answer the way we want but He did today,

I was hungry after all of this excitement so Rick took me out to lunch.  I will crash in another day or so therefore we took the opportunity to get out and about.  I am a little tired right now.  I am sure from the Benedryal and coming down from my anxiety.

We have received some wonderful rain the last few days but it looks like the humidity and temps may be going back up.  But it is almost August!  I will post as I have the energy.

Take time to enjoy something for yourself this week!

Relaxed!

I am one lucky lady!  God knew I needed to sit and see all of His glories and handiwork.  French Lick was just what I needed.  I spent most of the time with my butt in a rocking chair on a big southern porch and looking at all of the beautiful vegation growing around the garden of the West Baden Springs hotel.  Rick got to play golf, lose some money at the casino and take some wonderful pics of the surroundings.  It was a great time.

Now back to reality.  I have my hydrate day tomorrow.  Then I will take 2 steriods 12 hours before my infusion on Tuesday and 2 more 6 hours before it.  I am not sure how this next round will be but I know God will watch over me and guide me through the next 12 weeks.  With Him all things are possible.

Once again thanks to all of you participating (and donations) in the race.  Stacy will be sending out an email in the next week or so with any details.  I cannot even think about this event without tears in my eyes.  I hope Rick is good at Photoshop when he takes the group pic and can remove the teardrops!

I hope all of you in Kansas City have enjoyed this break in the summer weather.

Enjoy your week!

PS
Some of you have mentioned you have tried to comment on the blog.  For some reason I cannot see the comments.  If you would like to comment please feel free to email me at coultere@swbell.net.

Road trip!

My counts were good today and the oncologist gave me the approval to get away for a few days:)

With that being said we had great difficulty finding a place to go with my limitations.  We need to make sure we stop often on the trip because of my arms, I cannot be out in the heat for long, no sun and golf for Rick.  Whew...try googling all of that for a place to stay!  We decided to go back to French Lick, IN.  It has rocking chairs on the porch, golf and a casino for Rick and plenty of places to explore.  Unfortunately our first stop tomorrow will be back in my hometown of Washington, MO.  We will attend the visitation of the dear nurse that took care of my parents.  She lost her battle with cancer on Saturday.  After this stop and a visit with Karmen we will be on our way.  We will return on Saturday.  Another exciting time for me.

This weekend was terrific.  Being with family is always the best medicine.  I loved having the girls spend the night Sunday and the day Monday.  Although I was tired Monday night I felt wonderful.  I have no idea of what my counts are going to be on the next 12 weeks of chemo so I don't know how much I will be able to be around my Petrie dishes.  So loved having this time.

Again thanks to all of you that have signed up to do the race or made a donation.  I still get very emotional thinking of this event.  I have been giving Stacy your email addresses as you sign up so she will be in touch with you about packet pick up and any other details for the morning.

I probably won't post anything until we get back.  Have a good week...I know I will!

More race info

Once again thanks to all of you who are participating in the Race for the Cure on August 11th.  Thanks also to those who have donated to such a worthy cause.

If you are planning on walking or running on Stacy's team please sign up as soon as possible.  She is planning on emailing you with details about packet details and other information.

Rick and I have reserved a suite at the Sheraton for that Saturday night and Sunday.  I have no idea what I am going to feel like or what the weather will be so we decided to be proactive about the situation.  I want to invite each of you participating to the suite afterwards for bagels, fruit, juice, water and fellowship.  Please do not feel like you have to come or stay but this is my way to say thank you.  I believe Stacy would like a group picture of everyone so we thought we could make the front of the Sheraton a meeting place.  More details on this to follow from Stacy.  I can text everyone the room number the night before.  I am sure the area is absolutely going to be nuts so being there the night before takes the stress off of me.  I am so looking forward to this event.

I am feeling great today.  I had physical therapy today and my range of motion is awesome.  I do not need to go back to "physical torture" for a month unless I feel the need to go before.

My excitement for the next few days begins at about 2 tomorrow afternoon when Karmen and the girls arrive by train to KC!  I am sure by Monday evening I will be exhausted but it will not be like the chemo fatigue. I will have a smiling face:)

I hope all of you have a great weekend also.

Vertical today!

I thought I might be light headed today with the air up high after being horizontal for three days:)  I feel much better today.

Yesterday I emailed a friend who is doing about the same schedule I am with the chemo treatments.  I told her I was really wimping out this time.  She responded that she has had a rough time also!  We decided it was the accumulation of the 4 treatments and our bodies were just shutting down.  It is was so nice to know it wasn't just me.

I had bloodwork today.  My counts were a little low but not off the charts.  In fact they do not want the WBC to go less than 2.5 and mine was 2.8.  This is much better than I usually have after a week.  I am so excited because I know I will be good to go by this weekend.

I have cleaned a bathroom, vacuumed the first floor of the house and dusted today.  I haven't even had one nap today!  I hope to crash tonight and get a good night's sleep.

It continues to be hot so I haven't felt the need to be out of the house much.

I can't say thanks to God enough times for carrying me once more through my dark days.  He continues to grow the seeds of faith in my heart.

Struggling....

I thought I would feel so good after this last infusion but guess I thought wrong!  I have had no energy the last few days.  I think the chemo has built up in my system and dragging me down.  I also am coming off the steroid high and now taking the anti-biotic for 7 days.  I have so many chemicals swimming around in my system that I have no idea what reaction I am going to have to any of it!  This too shall pass.  God just gives me these days for me to remember that He is in charge.  Each day will get better.

I have my usual blood work on Tuesday which means my counts will be low and I will take all my precautions for a few days.  But by the end of the week I should be on the upswing.  At least I hope so because I have lots to look forward to this weekend.  Karmen and family will be here Saturday for Emerson's baptism on Sunday.  Annie and Ceci are staying here Sunday night for the first time since I began my treatments.  I am so excited to have them.  I know I will be exhausted when they leave to go to their other grandparents but it will be a good tired!

In the meantime there isn't much to write.  But I have had time to reflect on God's word.   I will end with this passage:

"One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard:  that you, O God, are strong and that you, O Lord, are loving....   Psalm 62:11-12

Strawberry Daiquiri!

The ladies sitting by me today decided that a strawberry daiquiri sounded better than a strawberry malt. I agree!  I think I feel just as good as if it were a strawberry daiquiri!  A/C is done.  After I had my first infusion I really questioned about completing this treatment.  But I did it!  I know I will still have a few rough days but I also know that with all things God gives you strength.

I had my training on the next drug I will be taking.  It is called Taxol.  I will begin it on July 30th and have it weekly for 12 weeks.  As with the other chemo I can have all sorts of reactions.  I will take different kinds of drugs to hopefully minimize those reactions.  Every individual reacts differently.  Overall it is supposed to be easier than A/C.  I pray that this is true.

I also reconfirmed today that I will not have radiation.  If I would have had radiation I would have had that every day for 30 days.  I thank God that I will avoid that treatment.

My compression sleeves came in today.  I will be fitted for them tomorrow.  Hopefully they will help with any swelling I am having.  Rick says he needs a compression sleeve for his stomach because he must have lymphedema!

I may not post for a few days.  It depends on how I am feeling.  I get the Neulasta shot tomorrow and have physical therapy on Friday.  The week will be over before I know it!

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts!  I am also very touched by all of you participating in the race on August 11.  I tear up every time I try to talk about it:)

First thing this morning Karlene sent me my inspiration for the day.  It was the song by Melissa Etheridge called "I Run for Life".  Listen to it on You Tube.  I will continue to run for all my family and friends!

Race for the Cure

Two of my friends have decided to create a team to run/walk/donate in the Kansas City Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in my honor on August 11.  I am so touched by their willingness to organize this event for me.

Please go to the following link and click on the team page.  You can sign up or donate.

http://kansascity.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/KNS_GreaterKansasCityAffiliate?pg=team&fr_id=3305&team_id=263503

I will be at the finish line to thank everyone for their participation.  If you want to see some Ta Ta's then  you might ask Rick as his are the biggest in the family right now!

Thanks to all of you for your generosity to this great cause.

Ready for the week!

It has been a good week but I am ready for Tuesday to get here.  I will have my last infusion of the two chemo drugs I have been taking.  I think it will be my strawberry malt this time instead of my red devil.
With this being said I have no idea when I will post this week.  Each treatment has been different.  Of course I will be on the steroids thru Friday and then the crash hits.  Since the chemo is to have a cumulative effect I may just sleep my way through a few days.

My fourth of July was absolutely terrific.  If you are ever in need of a great place to stay the Courtyard by Marriott in Briarcliff in Kansas City was awesome.  It is a new facility but more than that they had a very caring staff.  Upon our arrival on Thursday we were greeted by a smiling face.  She obviously was the young lady Rick spoke with as he was making the reservation. She said they had tried to pick out the best room with a view of the city fireworks.  When we went into the room they had placed a gift bag in the room with water and healthy snacks along with a handwritten note hoping we enjoyed our stay and a two complimentary breakfast coupons.  The view was terrific.  It was so nice to watch the fireworks and not have the hassle of traffic or people.  Ricky did good:)

Yesterday Karlene and family came over for dinner.  It will be a few days before I can be around my Petrie dish again so I got my "grandson fix".

Tomorrow will be my hydrate day.  Then I will cross one more thing off my list on this journey! After my first treatment I thought I would never be able to complete these infusions.  With God's hand holding mine I have made it!  God is good!

Up and Down Battle

As I have said the cancer journey is filled with ups and downs.  I know God has given me the strength to face this battle.

With that being said yesterday was a day of me calling Rick after physical therapy and saying, "I hate cancer!"  The physical therapist said my arms are beginning to show some signs of swelling.  Not so much in the left arm but more in the right arm.  The right arm is the arm that 19 lymph nodes were removed.  I will always have the chance of developing lymphodema in that arm.  There are precautions I can take to make sure this doesn't become full scale.  So yesterday I was measured for custom compression sleeves and gloves for both of my arms.  It will take a couple of weeks before I receive them as they are custom made in Germany.  I will need to wear them during the most active part of my day for maybe up to 4 hours.  I also need to make sure I elevate both arms as much as I can and Rick will do the massage therapy on me every few days.  After this news I had a melt down of saying, "I have no hair, boobs and now will look like a freak wearing compression sleeves!"  Needless to say I got that out of my system.

Once I had my "fit" I called Karlene to see if I could have some time with the boys and my form of "treatment".  We had dinner with them, watched Ethan play, held Emerson and spent a lovely evening on their screened in porch.  I came home and slept like a baby.

Today I woke up and thanked God for being with me as I fight this battle.  I got ready and had breakfast with the retirees from my school.  What a fun morning!  We had a great turn out and I was able to visit with dear friends.  My dark mood from yesterday was gone.  It has continued to be a good day.  My counts are good:)  In fact the WBC is even higher than when I started.  That means the shot I am getting is doing its job.  Onward and upward!

Once again my hubby is a gem.  After my "explosion" yesterday he surprised me and told me he had made reservations for the fourth of July at a hotel (praying my counts would be good) that sits high on a hill in the city.  He had talked with the staff and arranged to have a room that will have a window view of the city's fireworks.  I cannot get any bug bites for the fear of infection so being out after dark watching fireworks had posed a problem.  As usual he is the love of my life.  I did ask if he used the "C" card in making the arrangements and he said, "you bet"!

As this battle continues I must remember God is in control.  I win the battle anyway it goes!

Gorgeous Morning!

I sat on the deck this morning and thanked God for a beautiful day.  There is low humidity, sun is shining, birds are singing and I feel great!  God is so good to me.

Sorry I haven't posted this week.  As I have said before when I don't have much to post just think positive thoughts for me.  Usually I am feeling good and have nothing to write.

I have no idea what my counts are right now but I am not going to worry about that because I feel "normal".  (No smart comments to yourself about my "normalcy"!)  I have had some bone pain so that tells me the Neulasta shot is doing its job.  I go for blood work on Tuesday and hope the counts are good.  If so I have lots planned to go do for the next week:)  I have cleaned the house the last few days in anticipation of being able to "play" this week.  Of course Rick says that means there will be an increase in store purchases!

There are so many positive parts to this journey.  I tend to struggle with that on my pity party days.  But lately I am learning on those dark days God just carries me and then He puts my down to walk with my two feet and Him holding my hand.  He never lets me go!   I hope each of you can take a minute to remember to enjoy the life He has given to you.

Enjoy this fourth of July week and the freedom we have to live in this country.

Much Better

I just came back from doing blood work.  All of my counts are good except the white blood cell count is low.  But not as low as it was the last time.  This is normal in receiving chemotherapy.  The good part is that the neutrophils (which are baby white blood cells and will become white blood cells) are high.  This means that the counts should continue to go up.  I am still being proactive about things but at least I know I have some defense mechanism going on in my body.  And my bones are aching so I know something is working.  It is not unbearable but I definitely know things are working in this old body.

I am beginning to feel the need to clean cabinets and closets.  I work very slowly but feel like I am making some progress in purging crap:)  For instance since I was in "giving shower" mode the last few years I don't think I will ever have to buy another napkin in my lifetime! If you ever eat here who knows what will be the color of the day!  At least I feel productive in staying home.

It looks like it is going to be quite hot by the end of the week in KC.  Good thing I have Netflix and lots of reading to do.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Sleeping Beauty

I really wouldn't say I was the "beauty" but sleeping is what I have been doing.

I finished my steroids Friday.  Saturday I was weak but yesterday was complete "lay on the couch" day.  Plus the doctor put me on a different antibiotic and it is making me feel weird also.   Why do they have to change things up????  I try to do a few things and then I am back down.  I walked on the treadmill for all of a quarter of a mile yesterday!  I keep telling myself next week will be good week:)

I have blood work tomorrow so I will see how the WBC is doing this time.  I know it will be down but hope it hasn't gone off the charts again.

It is hot in KC.  In fact I really haven't been out much.  I am trying to get motivated to do some "projects" I have been wanting to do but I keep procrastinating.  I am sure they will still be there when I feel better:)

Stay cool.

Never know!

Each treatment has been different.  I keep thinking I have it figured out but I am learning I have to take it day by day or even hour by hour!

With this being said number 3 red devil hasn't been bad.  Of course I am on steroids through Friday and I got the shot to increase my WBC today.  I have so many drugs in me that I wouldn't have a clue as to what is causing what!  At least no nausea this time.  I slept well last night.  I walked up the street this morning and have been vertical most of the day. I did have a short catnap this afternoon:)

A friend sent me a card today and it was perfect.  It said that she hoped I could feel God beside me, taking each step with me, quieting my heart and reminding me always of His love.

I KNOW God is with me always!

Three down!

The first 4 rounds of chemo I am receiving are called "the red devil".  I have now only one more of that treatment left:).  My counts were good today.  I did visit with the oncologist this morning.  He has prescribed an antibiotic for me to take on day 5 trough 11 after treatment.  He said my WBC will probably continue to plummet on these next two rounds of chemo.  But, hopefully, it will not affect the next 12 weeks of chemo after this.  I will be praying that God will allow me to continue the treatments on the scheduled time.

I am starving while having this infusion!  Rick has returned with some lunch:)

I will post more later!

Normalcy???

I have no idea what is "normal" anymore but these last few days I  have felt like a little of my life before cancer entered in it!

Friday Karlene and the boys spent the day with us.  Whew....a 2 year old boy sure does keep busy.  But a 6 week old little one is so content and relaxing to hold.  I got to experience all of it!  I was a little tired Friday evening but nothing more than I use to be keeping up with the grandkids.

Yesterday we went on a road trip.  Originally Karmen and family were to be here for a concert on Monday night but the concert was cancelled.  I really wanted to see them and my great nephew was having a high school graduation party.  So we drove to Washington, MO and spent the day.  I thoroughly enjoyed seeing family.

Today is a rest day.  Tomorrow is the day prior to infusion so I hydrate myself with lot of water.  Therefore I stay close to home (if you get my drift)!

I hope all of the dads have had a great Father's Day.

I will post after my infusion on Tuesday.  Keep praying that my counts are still up and I will proceed as planned.

Praise Be to God

As I have said before I really believe in the power of prayer and that God has me in his hands.  With that being said my white blood cell count is within normal range:)  It was at .4 last week and today was 4.9.  The nurse said she really couldn't believe I didn't end up in the hospital.  I told her I was bound and determined not to end up there and took all the precautions I could for the last week.  God also knew what He had in plan for me.   And I am ready to go somewhere today!

I have a physical therapy appointment this afternoon.  Rick can't wait to learn the "torture" massage he will do to help with the cording.  I may regret his ability to do this technique.

After our appointment we are doing something.  I have no idea what that will be but it will not be in this house.  It is very hot in KC but that will not stop me today.

Friday my little Petrie dish, Ethan, is coming over with his mom and little brother.  I am so excited to have him be here for the day.  He has not been to Mimi's and Papa's in a long time.  I also will get to see my other grandkids Monday as they are coming to KC for the day.  Life is good.

I have five days to enjoy before my next infusion on Tuesday.  I hope all of you have a good week also.

Praise Be to God!  This is the day the Lord hath made.  Rejoice and be glad in it.

Good weekend!

The weather has been perfect and I have felt good.  God is good!

Yesterday I held Mr. Emerson almost all afternoon.  I would say "little" Emerson but he weighed 10lbs. 13oz on Friday!  He is a hunk of joy! There is something so peaceful watching a baby sleep...especially if he is your grandson. Ethan was super excited about his train ride and came home wanting Papa to play outside.  I got to watch him running around like a madman!  It was a perfect day for me!

Today has been a productive day.  I know it sounds crazy but I was able to do some household chores that were bugging me.  Remember I am captive in my house at times so I see things that need to be done.  So as crazy as it sounds I cleaned the refrigerator and the pantry!  No more "expired" items around here.  I also defrosted the freezer in a little refrig we have in the basement.  I know I am sometimes obsessed with cleaning but I thoroughly enjoyed being able to do normal things!

I have blood work again Wednesday morning.  I sure hope the WBC is up and I can do some things before my next treatment on the 18th.

Looks like summer will be arriving this week in KC.  Stay cool!

Holy Moly!

It is an understatement when they say a side effect of the Neulasta shot is bone pain.  The pain I experienced last night cannot even be described.

I felt great yesterday.  In fact I even wore a mask and gloves and went to the grocery store.  But at about 10:30 last night the most excruciating pain attacked my lower back and hips.  I told Rick it was like having back labor with no relief.  I could not get comfortable.  I was only to take the Claritin for 4 days following the shot so I did not have that in my system.  I immediately took one.  The only relief was when I was standing.  Needless to say I did not sleep.  I was not running a fever and did not see the need to call the doctor.  I can only take Tylenol so I took that also.  Finally this morning around 7 it subsided.  I had aches but not the severe pain.  After the doctor's office opened I called the nurse.  She was not my normal nurse so I was not pleased with her response.  I really think I knew more about the Neulasta shot than she did!  I did not go in but now know I can take a pain pill if it happens again.  From what I understand a person can have a delayed reaction to the shot.  It is as if a balloon is expanding in your bones as the white blood cells begin to increase from the shot.  I think mine were overfilling:)

 As the day has progressed I just feel like normal arthritic old age pain.  I went and had my wig styled this afternoon.  A girl has to have some sort of pampering every once in awhile!  I also had a physical therapy appointment.  My therapist is so awesome.  She is very pleased with my range of motion.  I still have problems with cording that happens from the lymphatic system being messed up from the chemo.  She massages it and breaks it up.  Next week she will be teaching Rick how to do this at home for me.

Tomorrow is Ethan's second birthday.  Adam and Karlene have an afternoon planned with him and a Thomas the Train ride.  Therefore Papa and Mimi's get Emerson!  I can sit and hold him all afternoon and I will forget any pain I have.  Great therapy!

Each day God has a new challenge for me but you know He gets me through it!

Have a great weekend.  Take time to enjoy!

Didn't Work

I guess the Neulasta shot worked but didn't work as well as I had hoped.  My WBC has literally plummeted.  I am on house arrest again and an antibiotic.  I was very weak and out of breath this morning but my oxygen level was good.  They also had me get a chest e-xray and there is no indication of pneumonia either.  Guess I am just a wimp!  I am so hoping I don't end up in the hospital so I am taking every precaution I can.   I may end up with a case of "stir crazy" but thank goodness I like my house:)

I really don't have much else to write.  The devotion I read yesterday said, "Let go, relax, be still, and know that I am God".  I am trying to relax in God's healing.

Hopefully the rains are finished and we will see some sunshine in Kansas City later this week.

Blimp!

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days.  I thought this treatment was going to be a breeze.  Looks like each time it is a little different.  I have not had the nausea but fatigued has set in.  Plus I have had all sorts of reactions to the steroids which has included beginning to look like a blimp.  I just haven't felt well at all.  Everything tastes and smells weird.  God has heard me constantly the last few days.  I am sure He is listening and I trust He will guide me the next few days.

I will try to write more in a few days.  I just don't have the strength to think right now.

Have a good week.

Feeling good!

The new meds are working!  No nausea this time.  Of course steroids are great!  I may look like a frigging balloon by the time I am finished but I will deal with that later.

I had the Neulasta shot today.  The side effects from it will be bone pain as it is a stimulant to the bone marrow.  Believe it or not I took had to take a Claritin to off set those pains.  Who knew that???

I thought steroids were to keep you from sleeping but I have slept off and on all day.  The rainy day didn't help.  I may be like a newborn and have my nights and days messed up.  Oh well I have all the time in the world to do whatever my body tells me.

Thanks for all the prayers.  God is so good to me!

Counts up!

I can't believe that after only 24 hours my WBC doubled.  I believe in the power of prayer:)  I am sitting here getting my treatment and thought I would post my good news.

Hopefully the new meds will work and I will have minimal nausea.  If I don't post for a few days do not be alarmed.  I may be napping a lot.  Although I am taking lots of steriods so I may be writing constantly and not sleeping.  But once I finish them I may crash for a few days.

If you are in the Kansas City area stay safe with the storms that are predicted.

Bummer....

I am not getting an infusion today.  My white blood cell count has come back up but not high enough for another treatment.  All other counts are good.  They will try to do a treatment tomorrow.  From now on the day after I have a treatment I will have to have what they call a neulasta shot to increase my white blood cell count.  I was hoping to avoid this shot because it too has side effects.  But I want to get the treatments on schedule so will do whatever has to be done.

Now that I have the day free I will have to get a few more things done around the house:)

Hope all of you have a good week.

Good day for a nap!

It is a rainy Memorial Day in Kansas City.  It would be a good day for a nap but I am feeling good so I don't see a nap in my future today.  In fact I am preparing for my "nap days" this week so I am trying to get laundry and other things done before I have my treatment tomorrow.

I have asked God to give me strength and not too much disappointed if they have to delay treatment due to my counts.  My appointment is at 8:30 in the morning.  I am thinking positive thoughts and preparing for a morning of sitting and receiving my infusion.  With that being said I am also hoping the new meds they are giving me will help with the severe nausea I had last time.  If they do not work I do know that it will be over within 5 days!  Prayers please.....

Yesterday I did go to Ethan's "Choo Choo I Am 2" birthday party.  Karmen and family were there so I got to see all my family.  I did not get too close to all the little "petrie" dishes but at least I could watch them.  I had a great time.

I really am feeling well.  If there are not any posts this week it is becuase I know I will have a few down days this week.  Thanks for all of the emails, texts and cards.  I know God is listening.

Thank you to all who have fought or are fighting for our freedom.  Today is a day to remember those men and women who were willing to die for their country.

Down for the count!

Looks like I will be staying home for the next few days.  My white blood cell count is super low.  This is a normal reaction after about two weeks after an infusion.  As a preventative measure I am on an antibiotic.  I must stay away from crowds of people too.  Hopefully by Tuesday the count will be back up.  I have not received a shot to increase the counts.  I think the doctor is hoping they will come back on their own.

I have slept off and on most of the day.  Sounds like an exciting life huh?  Oh well I am doing what my body tells me to do!

Cooler weather here today.  I have noticed a bald head gets cold:)

Have a good rest of the week.

Hair today, Gone tomorrow

Actually hair is gone now!  This morning I was running my hand through my hair and realized it was falling out.  As the proactive person I am I called my hairdresser and said it was time for a shave.  She worked me in this afternoon.  I was a little "weepy" prior to going but gave myself a pep talk that it will grow back.  A shaved head is nothing compared to all the horrific things happening in Oklahoma right now.  The next time you see me I may have on a scarf, hat, wig or just going "al natural".

I am still feeling well.  Although physical therapy kicked my butt yesterday.  I don't have another session for a few weeks due to having another infusion on Tuesday.  I have blood work tomorrow so hopefully counts are not too low.  I really am hoping to avoid any shots to boost my white cell count.

If you are in Kansas City be sure to get out and enjoy the lovely weather!  I know I am!

Good Weekend

I hope each of you has had a wonderful weekend.  There is so much to be thankful for in our lives.  I pray that God continues to give me strength so that each day is better.

Physical therapy on Friday was awesome.  The therapist did some massage techniques on my arms to help with some cording that was developing and limiting my range of motion.  Now I did have to cry "uncle" a couple of times because it wasn't all pleasant but my movement has improved so much.  I have another session tomorrow and hope it continues to help.

Yesterday was another first for me in several months.  Rick and I took a drive to Rocheport, MO and had dinner at a winery called Les Bourgeois.  It was about an hour and half drive and I did well.  Of course it would have been much better if I could have had a glass of wine!  But all in all I had another good day.

Today I got up and fixed chicken salad, made chocolate chip cookies, and had some visitors.  Karlene and Ethan came over for the afternoon!  We tried to "sanitize" Mr. Ethan and I didn't kiss on him but it sure was good to see him.  I have not had physical contact with him since I began the chemo treatment to avoid his little germ infested body.  I missed having him around here.  Thank goodness for technology though because we do Facetime almost every day.  Once again I had another good day.

Now this doesn't mean I don't get tired.  I do.  But I am learning to pace myself.  I will have blood work again on Wednesday and hopefully my counts are coming back so I can have another treatment next Tuesday.   Hey after that treatment I will be half way done with the schedule of 4!

Yes...it has been a good weekend.

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."  Psalm 18:32

Much Better

The last few days I have felt much better.  I still get fatigued but at least the nausea has subsided.  Yesterday the blood work did show that my counts were a little low (which is expected) but nothing too alarming.  I go back next Wednesday for more blood work.

My cousin (Bro as I call him) from Portland, OR visited for a while on Tuesday.  It was good to see him.  Of course BBQ is always on the menu when he is here and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed some ribs.

After having blood drawn yesterday I went shopping for a bit.  (Rick doesn't always think that is a good sign!)  Then we went over to Karlene's so I could hold little Emerson for a while.  This always makes me feel much better.  I really miss seeing Ethan but he is such a walking Petrie dish that I need to avoid contact with him until my counts come back up.  I was tired after all of this but felt good.

Today I am going to try to accomplish some cleaning.  Some things are beginning to drive me nuts so I guess I am feeling better.  I know it will take me twice the time to do this but at least I feel like doing them.

Tomorrow I have physical therapy.  My range of motion is getting better but there are still some issues with my arms.  I don't think I will ever get use to the numbness under my arms!  I am hoping the therapist will have some suggestions to alleviate this feeling.  I have been trying to stay on schedule and do my exercises three times a day.

This just about sums up my week.  It has been much better!  I think that is a good sign.

Sunny Day

The sun is shining brightly today.  It is a beautiful day God has made.

I am beginning to feel a little better.  It has been a rough last 5 days.  But today I made breakfast (and ate some), did dishes, paid bills, put some laundry in, ate a little lunch and now ready to take a break.  As you all know sitting still is not my game but the chemo is taking charge of the ball right now.

I just pray for strength and to be on top of my game by May 28th when I have the next infusion.  In the meantime I go for blood work every week as they monitor my counts.  Hopefully they won't go too low.

If you are in Kansas City enjoy the summer weather that is coming our way tomorrow.

Have a good week!

Hanging towel up to dry!

Okay so the towel got a little limp and wet the last few days but I didn't throw it in:)

I feel much better after the infusions this morning.  I also asked for the motion sickness patch I had during my surgeries.  I don't know what is working but I feel much better!  In fact I ate some lunch and ready for some dinner.  Maybe this part is behind me.

The nurse explained that they will change up my meds before my next chemo treatment.  Now that they know I have so much trouble with nausea they will give me different meds.  Hopefully I will not go through this again.

Thanks for all the emails, texts and phone calls.  I still think the power of prayer works.  I thanked God this morning for medical personnel that can help me through this process.

To all of you that are moms....have a great Mother's Day weekend.